What do you call a magazine for female litigators? Sue.

That's not a bad joke. Scheduled to launch in January,Sue will be a bi-monthly magazine for female lawyers specializing in litigation.

What is next? A magazine for male virgins specializing in videogames?     

Mhhhh, wait...

Software-induced deformities

I have always said that There's no ugly people, just not enough photoshop. 

But this guys really screw it up. This mutant if from Maxim Mexico.

 This is to prove that even the big ones mess up sometimes. The budget for this project was $350,000 USD. 

 

Check it out yourself at the Givenchy Website

Gummy lighthouses

Someone's been at sea loooong time...

Mom, why can't we have cool stuff like the Japanese?

The Japanese have all the fun.

They get their cokes from vending robots!

All we get is that cheap crap from the grocery store.

The owner of the grocery store near my house is Chinese, but that's hardly a relief.

Ladies and Gentlemen: My Hero

And it's not over, here you have his TOP5 things to say if you get caught sleeping in the job:

TOP5: “They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen.”

TOP4 : “This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time-management course you sent me to.”

TOP3 : “Whew!? Guess I left the top off the White-out. You probably got here just in time!”

TOP2: “Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?”

And the NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk: (Raising your head slowly) “… in Jesus’ name, Amen” 

Fungtastic!

What kind of mushrooms are those? God, PLEASE bless America!

Janitor Joe

Allow me to explain. The creative department in my company consist of: 2 Belgan bohemians, 1 Polish ex-beauty queen, 1 Quebecker jewish, 2 French designers (one girl and one girlie), 1 guy that thinks he is smart just because he looks like Stephen Hawking, and 1 Mexican Engineer. That is 8 persons that cost around $30,000 monthly to the company and that they are in charge of creating base ideas for the new campaigns.

From a sample of 100 ideas:

a. 55 are plain crap.

b. 10 are racist.

c. 15 are sexist.

d. 10 are too expensive.

e.  5 are just not-doable.

f.   5 are kindergarden level. 

All this to say, that they are over-paying 8 morons when they can just hire 1 person: Janitor Joe. That's the "friendly" nickname for José, the building's janitor. Born in El Salvador, crossed ilegally to Mexico, then to USA and then to Canada. By day, he's a simple janitor, but by night, he reveals his secret identity as an assistant creative to fight bad ideas of rich kids that think they know it all! (Swoooosh!).

Janitor Joe is able to compile creative, immaginative, funny, sarcastic, easy-to-understand, cheap, sticky and colorful messages (all the characteristics of a good ad), making use of simple tools and his infinite imagination.

I found this today in my way to the elevator.

Thank you Janitor Joe, you saved my job again!

It's all inside our occidental dirty minds!

Method of Preparation: Grab everything you know, add your way of life, mix with your vision of the future, take out the ideas of the catholic church, include a pinch of the "american dream", put everything in the blender, mix it for 10 centuries of isolation and roll it. Sit in the ground and serve it with some wasabi.

That's Japan; and I love it.

Words cannot express what I felt when I saw this sign.

 

Well, maybe they can: 

1. Big shlong, 

2. A "quickie", 

3. Prenatal singing contest, 

4. "Please, do NOT give birth in this place". 

But an asian friend kindly explained to me the meanings:

(from left to right)
1. People with a broken arm.
2. People holding a child.
3. Pregnant women (no singing allowed).
4. People with a broken leg.

Ahhhhhhhh....         Sorry, my bad.

Daddy must be proud...

Ouch. I will stay out of this one...

Ryanair took flight attendants back to stewardesses

Irish airline Ryanair is putting out a cheesecake calendar featuring some of its female flight attendants. The officials at Ryanair think the calendar is perfectly acceptable because the it's being sold to benefit charity. What do you think? Here's Miss April to help you decide:

Of course, there was a time when flight attendants didn't wear much more while on the job, as seen in this photo of Southwest Airlines flight attendants a few decades ago:

For more pictures of the Ryanair calendar, click here.